This is a short I wrote way back when, around the time I entered a dark place in my love, in terms of romantic involvement. Since I felt the message I wanted to send in those days got lost due to my own emotional quagmire and distinctly stilted views on women seeking men in those days, I took the editing knife to it to let the emotional impact better shine forth. This actually came to be one of those emotionally charged editing sessions where I had to face some of the darkness I thought I left behind for good, and in the end, I was better for facing up to it. I would hope this reflects in the final product, and is something you can appreciate. Without further delay, here is a moment in time from the life of people seeking love and somebody real
Steam fogged up the bathroom mirror as a young girl emerged from her shower, water dripping from her strawberry mane. Wrapping an earth brown towel around her slender, olive skinned self, she heard flamenco chords coming from her cell. She snatched the slim blue clamshell from beside the sink and flipped it open, answering, “Hello, Marisa speaking. Like, who's calling?” The phone rested near her ear as the words “It's your blind date. I assume you're still putting on your face?”came from her speaker.
“Among other things.” With a giggle, she let her towel fall as she slipped on her lucky lacy undies,“So when are you swingin' by?”
“I'd say 10 minutes, but I wanna know what's a good time for you.”
“Aww, how considerate.” She poured herself into her low rise jeans “Well I have a friend over right now, so how's 7 sound?”
“Sounds great. See you then, Nijiiro Girl.” She closed the phone and threw on her tan baby tee, stepping out into the hallway. Sliding her cell in her back pocket, she glanced at her wispy haired friend on the living room couch “Guess who just called, Trisha?”
“That one dude you met on GaySpace?” Trisha retorted, her ocean blue eyes fixated on the screen,
“T'chea, like that anime forum you go to, is any better.” Pausing the game, Trisha glared at Marisa the way bears glare at those threatening their cubs. “I'm sorry, I didn't know you were still getting over your breakup...”
“It's fine, don't worry about it.” Marisa sat beside her, as she said, “But you seemed to be way close to each other. And he sounded like such a great guy, too...”
“He is, and he's still someone close to my heart, but...but right now I'm just so conflicted...” Slapping her back, Marisa handed her a glass an apple juice “Don't be so down, Trish! From what you've told me, even being a friend to that guy is one of the best things a girl can ask for. I mean sure, he's sounds a bit clingy and all that, but he's still way better than those other macho douchebags.”
“Yeah, definitely. And I'm glad he's my friend. I guess I just need time to think things over.” Trisha offered her the second controller, and Marisa let out a laugh “Well you sure do have a weird way of coming to terms.”
“Better than goin' through 5 boxes of ice cream, isn't it?” Nodding in agreement, Marisa took the controller and began the hour long button mashing session. Both of them became absorbed in the virtual beatdowns and girl chat, when Marisa suddenly felt a vibration in her backpocket. With a quick and prompt confirmation chat, she returned the phone to its resting place, and slipped on her sneakers, saying, “Alright Trish, I'm heading out, so I'll see ya later. And hey.” She let her hand fall on Trisha's shoulder, as she looked into her eyes, “You know I'm always here if you need someone to talk to.” With a tender smile, she responded, “I know, Mari, but you shouldn't keep your guy waiting. I'm pretty sure he wants to see you, too.” Marisa nodded, and went towards the front door, where a cherry red Acura RSX awaited her outside. As she walked towards the passenger door, it suddenly opened to her, revealing a shaggy haired boy dressed in casual blues.
“My you look stunning. Your profile pics don't do you justice, Marisa.” Hearing his words, her face slightly flushed as she got in and buckled up. “I could say the same for you, umm...”
“Bobby.” He offered his hand, as he said, “It's nice to finally meet, after talking for so many months.”
“Indeed it is.” As they firmly shook, her eyes caught a picnic basket in the rear view mirror, and she immediately said, “Dude, you actually have one of those old school baskets.” Starting up the ignition, his other hand grasped the steering wheel, as he said, “Well we'll need something to eat, while we're in the park, right?” They then sped off, towards a park somewhere within Orange County.
***
After a brief while driving around, they set down and set up under the big oak, of a local park, getting to know each other over bowls of homemade spaghetti and garlic bread. Seeing his date virtually inhale her portions, Bobby let out a chuckle. “Is it safe to assume you're enjoying the meal?” She put her fork down, nodding as she chugged some Cherry ice tea.
“Yeah, dude. Did you make this yourself?” He slurped a few sauce coated strands, then said, “Yes ma'am. My dad's an awesome cook, and he passed down a lot of what he knows. I hope my cooking, among other things, reflect that.”
“They do, trust me. Good reminder of what a real man is” Taking a sip of his drink, he glanced over at her, and asked, “And how would you define ‘a real man’?”
“One that isn’t a macho meathead, like all the ones that seen drawn to me as if they’re flies and I’m honey” Hearing traces of anger in her voice, he said, “Well why do you think ‘macho meathead’ are the only people you attract? Certainly other kinds of men are drawn to you, right?” She stopped for a second, and looked down at the blue checkerboard rug. Bobby took a sip of his drink, then asked, “C’mon, Marisa, you can’t really think that about yourself.”
“And why shouldn’t I? Who wants a girl that can’t play sports, cook or fix cars? All I can do is play guitar, and none of the musician guys I know have the guts to even come up and say ‘hi.’” With a fierce gaze, he said, “Permission to scream some sense into you?”She quickly look up and replied, “Permission denied, dude. Why the heck would you need to do that, anyways?”
“’Cause anyone you meet should be able to see you're kind, funny, kind, funny and a very talented musician. Any guy would be lucky to be with you, even the macho meatheads who couldn’t recognize a great mate if they came up and smacked them in the face”
“If that's the case, then why did all those guys break up with me?”
"Well, have you ever mistreated or mistrusted them? Were you overly dependent on them, for support and comfort? Did you ever neglect their needs?” Staring flatly at him, she answered, “You know the answer is no, Bobby.”
“Then, in my eyes, it can only be because they're scared; scared to commit; scared to return affection; scared of what they may lose.”
“What do you mean ‘scared’? What’s scary about being in love?”
“Lots of guys my age think being with someone long term means giving up the chance to have fun and enjoy life the way they want to, that’s why they do something stupid when they realize all they can do now is browse the menu, not to mention when you truly love someone, in time, everything about yourself gets revealed to them, even the stuff you keep under lock and key. Trust me, letting yourself be completely open to be examined, questioned and hurt is a scary, scary, scary thing to do”
“You know what? You're...you're...”A few tears streamed down her face, as she said, “You're absolutely right. You always have been...” He put his arms around her, her tears soaking his shirt as he said, “It's alright, Marisa, these things happen. I know men took a lot from you, and done a lot to you. I’ve had a lot of the same crap done to me, too.”
“Yeah, you've told me how people used you in the past...”
“Then you know how tough it’s made it for me to trust others, too?” She looked up at him and nodded, asking, “Is that why you're still friends with that one girl?” He let her slip from his embrace, ruefully saying, “Yeah. We went through a lot together, and quite honestly, I've had feelings for her I don't think I'll ever have with anyone else.”
“You sure about that, Bobby?” Feeling her hand touching his, he shot her an inquisitive glance, as he said, “For now, yes, but we'll see what time brings about.” Looking around, at the empty cups, plates and bottles, he chuckled, and said, “And seeing as our dinner is firmly in our bellies, I think it's time for our next activity.”
“Well I haven't been to that one arcade at The Block for a while. Wanna go there?”
“Sure thing, Marisa. Let's clean up here, and head out.” A half hour later, they arrived at the arcade, and had a ball, facing against, and playing with each other on the various standups. But while Bobby pulled the trigger, boxed a few rounds and shot some free throws, he failed to notice the glint in Marisa's darkly jade eyes; the gentle smile that crossed her face; the warmth she gave off when his hand held hers as they walked around. On the drive to her house, she reclined in her seat, as she thought, “Oh man, that was probably the best date I've been on in a while. Not only did he make an awesome dinner, but we actually had a ton of fun together. And I actually got to see what he’s about in person, instead of on a computer screen. I wonder...is there anything he wants from me?”
***
Approaching her driveway, they parked under a street lamp, and Bobby escorted her to the front door. As he bowed and said good night, Marisa smiled and stepped forward, asking, “Wanna come in?” Hearing this, Bobby rose up and scratched his head, as he said, “Umm...sure...” As he stepped inside, he took notice of Marisa's come hither stare, the words, “Wait here, there’s something I wanna tell you.” coming from her lips.
“Well, what would we need to talk about?”
“Oh, you'll see...” She disappeared into the hall, leaving Bobby further confused, as he sat on the couch, & thought, “Man, ever since dinner, she's been acting weird. Then again, I haven't been around many girls recently, so this may just be normal behavior…oh, who am I kidding? Even my exes weren't this affectionate, when we first went out. Maybe there's something personal she wants to tell me?” At that moment, she called out, “Alright, I'm ready. Come on in, Bobby.” his ears hanging on to each heated breath. With little clue of what the atmosphere was telling him, he made his way towards her beckoning hand, and into her moonlit bedroom. On her bed, he saw, a plethora of animal plushies, and next to it, was a fully stocked computer space. However, its owner was nowhere in his sights until he heard the door slam shut behind him, and Marisa's voice let the words, “I've waited a long time for someone like you.” hang in the air. His breath grew more and more bated, with each moment “Whatever do you mean, Marisa?” She slipped out of her jeans, and flung them onto the bed, “C'mon now, you really think finding a kind, caring and understanding chef is easy?” His body began to shake, watching her tee fly beside his head, and onto the corner of the neatly made bed, “Well, you'll never know what you'll find, if you dig under the surface...”
“Well I don't need to dig. I've got all I need right here.” He could feel her arms wrapping around his waist, mere millimeters of cloth separating their flesh. Summoning every ounce of self control he had, he asked, “Why...why are you doing this?”
“Well, because I want to show how much all you've done means to me, Bobby-boy.” Upon hearing this, his shakes ceased, and he closed his eyes and let out a cleansing breath, saying, “I see. So is this how you feel my kindness is best repaid?” Planting a small kiss on his cheek, she moved her mouth closer to his ear, and whispered, “You've given me what I wanted for a long time, so now I'm gonna give you what you've always wanted...” His hand clenched into a fist as he felt her undoing his belt buckle, tight as a spring on the verge of bursting forth. “So do you honestly think I want something that's hot, heavy and meaningless?” Marisa came to an immediate halt, Bobby walking towards the bed and sitting on the edge. He patted the spot beside him, “C’mere, Marisa. There’s a lot I gotta tell you.” Marisa, with eyes fixed wide and mouth slightly agape, did as she was told and looked at the floor, “First of all, you know my stance on sex. To me, it's the ultimate act of love and trust, not some bargaining chip or negotiation tactic. Also I didn’t bring any rubbers, so it would’ve ended very badly. That said, when I do want it, both of us gotta cherish and desire each other on every possible level. Don’t get me wrong, I AM a man, and all that, but this isn’t the way I want it to go down. Right now, I see you as a friend, not a friend with benefits.”
“Well, I do, too but I kinda thought you wanted someone to be with, after what happened with that girl...”
“Mari, one of the first things I learned after my break up is that for a relationship to be strong and live long, everyone involved’s gotta be strong on their own, first. Things go south in a hurry, if they’re not, which with me and her, it did. When they are, though, the time they share together becomes that much better and worthwhile” Marisa then felt the gentle touch of his hand on her back, as he said, “Besides, my kindness doesn't need to be repaid. Kindness that demands repayment isn’t kindness, it’s manipulation” With a smile, she glanced at him and replied, “I know, Bobby. I guess I just don't know what to do with real nice guys. Guess I’m too used to those assholes that pretend to be nice ‘til they get in the door, so to speak.”
“Well, not treating everyone like they only seek your goodies, is a good place to start. If sex driven assholes are all you think you’ll find in Orange County, that’s all you’ll find in Napa Valley and San Fran, too. The words they say and the stuff they do isn’t a foolproof way to find someone great, but it sure beats comparing them to expectations you’ll never think they’ll reach. Also, can’t expect to uproot mister right, right away, man; that tends to produce some bad harvesting. The people who make your life rich and rewarding tend to be the last people you expect, and that is an awesome thing.”
“You know…I think you're on to something there. Maybe I'll get lucky and snag a guy like you down the line. I'm kinda curious, though...” Bobby tilted his head and scratched at his crown, as she asked, “What exactly, did this girl do, to open your eyes to all this stuff? I heard this is the kinda crap you don’t really get too great ‘til you’re old and gray”
“Well, if you really wanna know, she opened my eyes to both extraordinary wonders and everyday wonders. She awakened my will and inner strength, and let me know how real deal love feels. You know, all that mushy stuff.”
“I've read my fare share of romance novels, so I catch your drift. Would you happen to have a pic of her on you?”
“I do, but the only one I can show you is a bit old. Hope you don't mind...” Pulling out his cell, a shot of a girl with sun kissed skin, and wispy, two toned hair soon appeared on the screen. As soon as Marisa saw the spark in the girl’s ocean blue eyes, it dawned on her just who this girl was. She smiled to herself, and said, “She's a pretty girl, and she was lucky to have you.”
“I could say the same about the guys you were with, and will be with, in the future. Who know, maybe if you keep your eyes, ears and heart open to the people around you, Mr., or maybe even Ms. Right might gut up and say ‘Sup?’ Well I have class in the morning, so I think I'll head on home.” Putting his cell in his jeans, he waved at her as he went out the door, and said, “Hope to see you again soon, Marisa.” She returned his parting gesture, then called Trisha, leaving her this message: “Trisha, don't ask how I know, but your friend is the wisest, gentlest and most caring man I've ever met. He was the first person to show me where I need to start to find someone awesome, and where I need to start now…is with me.”
Monday, September 27, 2010
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