A Certain Age

After a certain age, one of the questions pivotal to our decisions is ‘What have I done with myself?’ This is something I’ve asked more of myself ever since I graduated high school and began my journey of discovering what it means to be an adult. In my travels I’ve witnessed a rainbow of ways one can define such a concept, many of them leading back to the idea that growing up means giving up everything composing your childhood and accepting the routine that comes with bearing your own weight, along with the weight of those who choose to walk beside you. I freely admit these sorts of things give me a bit of the shivers, but I’ve preparing myself for my journey and looking into what it takes to sustain oneself in the outside world of rent, taxes and bills. In my view, all these things are a mere hill of beans compared to the mountain that is personal freedom to see the world for yourself, with your own two hands.




Individuality v. group mentality has always played a part in how a country’s culture develops, as well as fuelling whether independence or family life is pushed as the ideal; this has also played a part in what paths I travel the older I get and the more important it is to become my ideal. While not fully satisfied with my current station, in the years after my graduation I’ve experienced many things removing the cape over life’s mysteries and witnessed firsthand what kind of commitment growing up entails. In that time I’ve come to know one fact very well: nothing is ever an ideal situation, and the only to turn one to your advantage is to make it so, with whatever is at hand. There are still many major issues for me to confront, on both a personal and professional level, but with everything I’ve learned in my brief time on this planet I’m doubtless I’ll come out on top after all is said and done. Though my ideal might end up being far from my ultimate reality, I will do all in my power to ensure that reality goes north of them, rather than south.



One of the most demoralizing things to do as a person is compare yourself to someone else, and because there will always be someone out there better than you, this will undoubtedly end badly. I have learned that the only bar all of us must surpass is the one we set for ourselves, and if we feel we’re not approaching it, we should identify and resolve what prevents us from this. Much more is still out there for me to achieve, and I will not relent in my pursuit of them until I draw my last breath, which, should my health and dietary habits improve, will be a time a few decades off. Home is where the heart is, and in time I will make that home one I can feel comfortable developing myself in, and perhaps entering the second stage of my life, when children and other affairs enter the picture. Of course, all that will come later, and the important thing is what I can do now, with what I have now, and those I hold close to my heart now.

Windfall

This is a short I wrote up around the holidays to keep myself in thought about the holiday spirit, and is also tied to a larger project I'm working on with an artist of mine. Read and enjoy, and if you like, drop me a comment.

The slender, ponytailed young waitress brisked through the busy diner, balancing a tray piled with her table’s order. Soon after reaching the customers she said, “Here you go, meals fit for royalty.” as she placed it in front of them. One of her customers, a woman with boyish brown hair and sun kissed skin, asked, “And what kind of royalty orders Bacon Cheeseburgers, Fries and Chocolate Shakes?”




“Why, the kind that knows how to live it up, of course!” A laugh was shared, and a young girl wearing fiery pigtails glanced at the waitress with her emerald eyes and said, “Thank you for the meal.” to her.



“And thank you for coming. Enjoy!”Just as swiftly, the waitress rushed towards the kitchen to continue her shift. The moment she left, the woman slapped her hands together and proclaimed “Alright, let’s dig in!” With a giggle, the girl pulled up the sleeves of her pink turtleneck. Grabbing the burger with a dual grip, she said, “Hope this doesn’t get too messy”



“But the mess is half the fun, Ms. Jones, especially with this kind of food.”



“I guess. I just don’t wanna do things the wrong way, you know, Chisa?” With a gulp, Chisa pointed a fry at her and told her, “If you can’t let yourself do something wrong, you’ll never let yourself do anything.” The girl nodded as she swallowed her bite. Taking a sip of her shake, she took a small, blank envelope from her jean’s pocket, Chisa’s hazel eyes immediately locking onto it. “I’m guessing that has something to do with what you wanna do right?”



“Yeah, it does.” Tapping it on the table, she let out a sigh and fixed her gaze at Chisa’s half-eaten burger, commenting, “Has anyone ever told you ‘you eat like a jackrabbit’?”



“Hmm, don’t remember hearing I eat like one. Also don’t get any funny ideas.”



“Too late.” She said with a smile, munching a French Fry. Chisa rubbed her temple, grunting in irritation before saying, “Anyways, you already heard what I had to say; it’s on you to decide where it goes.” The girl’s eyes contemplated the bulge of the envelope, recalling when she first got it that morning in the park.

***