Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Cruising on the River

When I hear stories of people who own their own car and live in their own home before they even turn 20, I feel as if I should be moving much more rapidly with my growth than I am-especially when I still don't have those things at the age of 24. That said, I always try to keep in mind that life and all it's wonders only happens once and many of the experiences we wish to forgo in order to become something more are experiences we can't really get back. Think about all the pros who skipped their last years of college play to enter their sport's top ranks and the experiences they gave up and can never have again, left only to wonder what if as they deal with the cold, critical and contract-litigating world of being a pro; would you give up the money in those first pro years just to go back and live those last days of college and discovering who you really are?

It wasn't long after I graduated high school that I started to think about all the dances I skipped out, all the school functions I never went to because I thought them foolish, the graduation ceremony I skipped out on because I didn't think it worth my time. Those continue to haunt me and remind me to appreciate where I am in my stage of adulthood, which is surely part of why I've been going so slow in becoming a proper man.

Despite that, the years have let me see that my decision was the correct one, as the experiences my path has allowed me let me become a far better person than if I jumped head first into the world of college and the reality that waits beyond it (to be perfectly honest, I sucked pretty hardcore in high school and I if I went to college straight away, I know I would've stuck in that mindset for a long time). The clubs I've been apart of let me see how important it is to be connected in both the on and offline worlds, and my personal development has shown me how much I need to be the change I wish to see, especially in the professional capacity, or in other words, building the box I need to think outside of.

As I face the world of student loans and other forms of debt I'll spend my life repaying, I feel much more ready to jump into it and take it on than ever before, a thing I never would've conceived when I set foot outside Bellflower High School as a student for the last time. I'm grateful for all that's happened to me, for all of it has given me the tools and the mindset I need to be a proper man for both myself, those close to me and the generation that will come after I pass on.

Don't get the wrong idea, I definitely should've had a job, car and all that by now, but a crucial aspect of who I want to be is living with minimal regret, the way beloved did when she went drifting on those mountain roads. I can safely that I'm doing just that and know that if my time were to come right now, I would be happy with who I've become and what I've left behind. Should I be fortunate enough to live a number of years beyond this writing, I seek to keep building on this and enjoy my life as it is while I continue to build towards the lofty vision held in my mind's eye-which includes making $2K a week on average at whatever I do.

It's interesting to live a time like this, when the world seems to be on the edge of change and the standards of living are shifting as rapidly and unpredictably as the tides-especially concerning how the gov't lends a hand to those it governs-and illustrates what having clear eyes can do for navigating unclear times. I wonder how those who rushed into the world of adults feels about their decision and dealing with things that even well off people barely manage in their 30s and 40s.

Though I know I'll face many of the same troubles, I feel as if my time has laid a solid foundation for the path I must travel to reach my goals and given me the passion and memories I need to make my way through the hardships and toil I must confront. I certainly won't be thinking too hard about what could've been, had I just held off a bit and built myself up before entering the next phase of my life. 

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