When it comes to how we grow, one of the most important factors isn't what happens on the way, but how we react to it and let it shape us as people; this is especially true when it comes to hardships and other times which change our situation dramatically, with the the most obvious choice being whether we adapt to it or rise to the level where we make it adapt to us. For most of my life, I've chose the latter, learning to live without the internet and computer when circumstances took those away and learning to live without my bike when it was taken from me in the dead of night, never to return. I can safely say each of these decisions have made me a much stronger person in the end and gave me much of the tools vital to becoming a proper adult and assessing what's truly important in this world, but as much I enjoy what I've fortunate enough to receive from these choices, the time has come in my life where I want something more than just the ability to survive and make it to the next day on a shoestring.
I don't wanna just survive anymore, I wanna thrive and enjoy things to their utmost, restrictions be damned.
I realize this more each time I get chucked off my scooter by some random rock or bump in the road, each time an external circumstance deprives me of something I planned well in advance, but eludes me by the slimmest of margins, each time I fire up my trusty work comp and can't do everything possible to research and develop my creative works, because I can't afford the means to them yet, and each time it drips a little rage into my perception and makes me wonder what I can do to counteract this condition. How I can generate income and build myself up to the point where I can attain the freedom of choices I desire to expand my horizons and see things I never could before?
What can I do to make things suck that much less?
I know well it starts with altering my current habits and building better ones so I can move and improve as naturally as I breathe, a process sure to be full of much sweat, blood and tears given to make each a reality. That said, I also know the more I commit to these choices, the more they can work within me to lay a better foundation and build a better box for me to to think outside of, something I've admittedly lacked for a lot of my development until fairly recently. I used to fear this commitment and did what was needed to put it off, but after experiencing how much sticking to my studies has allowed me to grow and gain the perspective I have now, the fear has began to weaken and I've become more willing to give myself to the grind and humility needed to make connections, build up resources and overcome the internal obstacles which convince to stay where I am and live life in moderate discomfort.
As important as it is to be happy as you are and with where you are, so is it to recognize where you can improve and do what's needed to make them reality.
For me, this means making and printing resumes, turning up job offers and networking my backside off so that the one connection I may need can come to me in my greatest hour of need and show me what I've searching for. I've already taken the baby steps towards these goals, now it's time for the big, scary leaps to reach the other side. Without them, I'll never be reunited with my beloved bike, explore and develop the way I know I can with the needed resources and realize the future I've desired for myself all this time...at least not at the rate I would like to happen.*laughs* I mean, hell, if I got this far with what little I had back then, why can't I go even further? If anything, putting in the work and building myself up will help me better grasp that as pressing as my issues may seem now, they are nothing more than pebbles skipped across the pond, only to sink and become a part of the watery whole.
Just as retrospective lets us see that the things we thought were life and death in our younger days were really just little things viewed under the huge magnifying glass of our old perception.